"The Thing That Couldn't Die"

Remember the Heinz ketchup commercial from the 70s? "It's sloooooow good." Sometimes things can be sloooooow not so good. On to this review....

"The Thing That Couldn't Die" is a horror (?) movie from 1958 I'd been wanting to see for some time. No big stars in it and directed by Will Cowan. And, man, is it a snoozer. And it's only 69 minutes!

The basic idea is good, involving a decapitated head that's been alive for hundreds of years and sealed in a wooden box. When released, the head can control nearby people to do its bidding, which mostly involves wanting to be reunited with its body. Like I said, the idea's kinda cool, and the way the head just mouths words without sound (no vocal chords or lungs) is rather creepy.

My issue with the film is its direction and staging; it's just exceedingly limp. Everything's lit way too brightly to ever give you any sort of dread feeling, and the cast is mostly either made up of poor actors or people ready to speak lines and head off to lunch. The final "reunification" scene is one of the most ineptly shot/acted scenes I've ever seen....and I actually like a lot of Jess Franco's movies. I'd call this one a wasted opportunity, and yet, at only 69 minutes, I don't feel like I wasted too much time.

The only trailer I can find is the MST3K version. Maybe that's the way to go to view this one.....